It took me over like a wave. First, I didn’t realise why all of a sudden I was going through such an intense emotions. There is nothing particularly exciting about downloading Photoshop on a computer. Of course, I can’t lie, I was quite excited about this fact because it was one of those things I’ve been postponing for (insert all possible excuses here) too long. However, this wave of emotions was something I’ve long forgotten. Throughout feeling that flows inside of you and you think; why on earth I feel like crying? Not because you feel sad or hurt but because of the overall understanding of something sweet, something that once you were not able to quite grasp. A memory, which is not like a sharp blade anymore, it will not cut it how it used to be. Now, it is more gentle, it accepts and understands better. It is there, it is part of my story, it is something that happened to me, to us.
I’m looking at it with the glasses of life, it is not black it is not white, it is the perfect combination of all those intense feelings but time has moulded it into this unbelievable extraordinary feeling I was reacting with my whole body and mind. Earlier that day my friends were showing pictures from Japan where they’ve just been. I stop them when I saw a picture of 4 LPs they have bought, apparently, all of them are from a Japanese band called Fox Capture Plan. I’ve never heard about them before but I thought maybe I should give them a shot and later that night I picked one of their albums randomly in Spotify and pressed play and started my mission for the night; download Lightroom and Photoshop.
My kind of favourite album is something that works as a one piece, something that flows from one track to another. Therefore I rarely look at the tracks before I give an album a shot. Only on limited occasions if a specific song stands out, I go back to check the name of it and even more rarely I add it to a playlist. There was something special about a song that was on from a random Fox Capture Plan album. Melody was so familiar, it shook me like a blender, right into the memory land. What is this? Where I’ve heard this song before?? And I go check the song…realising it is a cover…it is a cover of a song I’ve not heard in years. A song that connects so tightly to a certain place and time in my life. You really can’t escape the distinct melody of this song. It might be a good rock song but when you add a spice of a memory to go with it, the meaning of the song cannot equal anymore only to its musical value. It equals to the memory, clearly even when the rock song transforms into a modern jazz cover leaving the electric guitar out which basically makes the original song. So, plug in baby, bring it on. I didn’t remember how you used to make me feel. How you clearly can still take me miles away.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the songs, here are the links to original Muse song and cover by Fox Capture Plan:
Pics are from Malmö, Sweden.
I was finding my way in London underground at the end of 2017 when someone in distance started to whistle a song. The melody of it was way too familiar but I or anyone from my group wasn’t able to remember the name of the song. It bothered me but I had so much to do back in the London town, so I let it be for a while until 1st of January 2018 to be specific. London has a special place in my memory land, I was 10 when I visited the town for the first time and since then I have created memories in the city with several different people. It has delivered for me so much, from my first musical experiences (Cats) to two memorable New Years and more than once it has served as a platform for experiences which has been far from ordinary, in good and in bad.
London represents to me a place, where everything is possible, it was the first stop back in 2010 when I started my internship in Birmingham, it was in my dreams as the next step in 2014 after finishing my exchange semester in Nottingham, but I ended up in Shenzhen and now, when the year of 2018 is still an open book it was more than natural to celebrate end of 2017 with group of friends I haven’t seen since our trip to Bali. But back into the song, we decided to see the fireworks on New Year’s Eve in Primrose Hill, this was actually a nice change. Back in the end of 2013, we were close to London Eye, this time we were far away from the center but the atmosphere in Primrose Hill was real and hopeful towards the new year with a hint of togetherness. And all of a sudden when the clock was 00.00 there was a group who started to sing a song…
…Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey Jude, don’t be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder… (The Beatles – Hey Jude)
…the song we had heard in the underground few days ago. It was a perfect way to start the new year and as an icing on a cake, all this comes to back into my childhood when I used to put my mothers Beatles albums into stereos and jam into the tunes. So, Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. 2018 I’m ready for you!
Pics are naturally from London.
I usually don’t like to talk about my experiences in first hand. It seems, well too close like I would reveal too much of myself. I write about my life but there is always certain filters or I write it in a wider perspective that only relates to my life. But Sunday nights experience was something different. There is a certain euphoria to music and I’m just experiencing that for a third day in a row after Moderat’s live gig I saw on Sunday in Helsinki. And I was expecting a lot, it didn’t help that my friend put some gas into fire before the gig and described last live sets he saw with a words that doubled that critical mind of mine with expectations.
Usually expectations are bad, they ruin everything. It is Russian roulette where you wish that you would not get that bullet. Therefore I try not to expect, life is simpler that way. But for Moderat I just couldn’t do it, too much emotional baggage loaded into every beat, melody or a pause. Little did I know when I found Rusty Nails from my friend’s playlist in 2013 that it would be one of the biggest treasures for that year to carry along with me. And when I heard the first beats of Rusty Nails on Sunday, that extended version topped up with visuals and extremely talented playing I just felt small. Actually I felt small for the whole 2h gig, it is almost impossible to find something that is so well thought and executed with level of perfection with edge that keeps it still real, tangible and close. But all of that just happened and when everyone else was able to at least burst into some kind of a words after the gig my best ‘sentence’ to come up was ‘that was solid’. And I’m still in it, there are only few things that makes me tickle more than that post euphoric feeling after a live music, especially after a live show that strikes and pokes the right way.
And when it pokes it is just a nanosecond and you are on a time travel. When I was little one of my main concerns were, how it would be in space? If I would just be there, flow in there, how it would feel? Not sure would space feel like that time traveling I experienced on Sunday but I think I was flowing. It is that feeling when you just fall into music, and it just moves through you and you completely forget place and time. There it was and I was stunned, you expect but when something goes beyond your expectations, well you’re in post-traumatic shock. And I think I’m still in it, shock I mean. Music, when it is not pretending to be anything, it becomes everything. And that is rare to find.
I have only one pic from the venue, which was taken before the show started. So for this time, I will spice this post with some tracks from Moderat.