Hello Helsinki

I’m wondering, how did I end up here? Just to notice that I miss home. Home, such a weird word for me, I thought I would never experience such a thing. I thought I would feel like an outsider everywhere for the rest of my life but suddenly, like a plot twist, I realised that I miss Helsinki. All of it grew stronger while I was visiting Finland during the winter holidays. Home, could it be that even though I’ve tried to find it in more than one corner in this world, it was right in front of my eyes. And I don’t want to twist it, I needed all the memories to come to the point in my life where I could say; MAYBE it is Helsinki where I should be. Maybe, because to be sure is like saying never, that kind of a commitment to one place is too much. I cannot say ‘I would never live anywhere else than…’ that would be self-denial. But at the moment, for this time and place, it feels right. And that is new too, that something feels right.

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I left Finland a year ago because I missed adventure but what kind of an adventure I missed? I think I’ve got it twisted, I’ve always had my way to go, my trademark. Whenever, wherever I can go but what it means to stay? My way to build life has been in ‘go’ not in ‘stay’. Looking from a different perspective, it might seem that you need courage and fearlessness to live in different countries or study in different languages but to me, this is the norm, to me ‘stay’ means courage and fearlessness. I’ve never demand such a thing from myself, I feel that it would take away part of my freedom. And to feel free…freedom is something that I value highly. However, could it be that these two things can be present in my life at the same time? It’s like having my roots on the ground but my head up in the sky. Can ‘stay’ and ‘free’ be merged together or is this a classic example of trying to eat two cakes at the same time?

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I’m willing to try and balance this out in Helsinki. It took me some time and unexpected happenings last year to end up applying for roles back in Finland. And I did put my name into a contract for a new job last week and made the decision to come home. How it is going to unfold from here, I don’t know, I wish though to find a piece of ‘stay’ in me without compromising my freedom. That is the recipe I’ve tried to create and it seems that with try and error I’ve started to find ingredients I need to create a life that smells, tastes and looks like me.

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København <3

Copenhagen, you’re a stunning little city. You amaze me every day with your colourfulness and petite outlook. The lively yet relaxed atmosphere in cafes, restaurants and cocktail bars gives a bit of an edge to this place. You’re welcoming but you’re a lot like your Nordic cousin, more than you probably realise. It is extremely hard to crack your ice and it takes time and hard work, in a way you seem a bit weird but different way than strangeness in Helsinki. But still, your strangeness is endearing and it makes you who you are. I’m extremely proud that I have stories to tell from two Nordic systems and I’m honoured to have the opportunity to live my life in countries that share same value ground. But it is time to say goodbye at least for now, therefore I decided to blast rest of the post with pictures from last year. Just because you’re awesome, look at you, you little big thing! Look how much you’ve given to me, more than I can express with my words. You will always stay in my memories as a place of growth. And yes, you did introduce intuition back into my decision making.

And to feel free…

Mad & Kaffe

In spite of my last post, I decided to continue to talk a bit about the cafe culture here in Copenhagen. Today, I went to Mad & Kaffe. I’ve been postponing my visit for an almost a year because the place is in Vesterbro (just to Google a bit around now to notice that there is another location in Amagerbro…) which is in another side of the town from where I live. The visit was good, although I had to wait for a nice while outside because the place was jam-packed but luckily I got blanket to keep myself warm before getting a seat. Mad & Kaffe has a nice menu, you choose 3-7 different dishes for a brunch. Besides this you can order beverages, I had a coffee as per usual and 5 different dishes.

I see why it is one of ‘the places’ to get a brunch in Copenhagen. All the dishes are well thought out, they are not too big or small in terms of the size, spices and ingredients are complementary to each other (like I would know that much about food, but aye! at least I’m trying :D) and dishes are served on a wooden platter. I don’t know from where this trend started but it is part of the scene now and I don’t complain, I like it, a girl from the woods likes wood, what a surprise!

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Back to the Mad&Kaffe, the atmosphere within the cafe is warm and welcoming. It could be described as hipster like but I think it goes beyond that, it is more of a good top 10 hit song. There is something for everyone without compromising the concept. Everything runs smoothly as a hit song is supposed to, you get different flavours but they are not too weird for you to understand but at the same time there is that little something that makes it stand out from the crowd. It is a place where you want to go to have a nice set of different tastes made out from good ingredients but if you’re looking for an experience that shakes you to the core, like a song you need to listen 10 times before you get even a grip to understand what is going on, Mad&Kaffe would not be the place.

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However, Mad&Kaffe is definitely one of the best places I’ve visited in Copenhagen for a brunch, coffee was also exceptionally good for a place that is more known for their food. It was right there in quality with cafes solely based in terms of coffee. Should I try to get there again and possibly earlier than a year from now? Definitely.

CPH & Coffee pt.2

It has been a while since my last post about coffee. I thought it would be a good idea to start this year with another post about the cafes in Copenhagen. You can find my earlier post about coffee from Copenhagen in here (and two previous once from Helsinki in here and here)! And as per usual, if there is a place I should definitely visit, let me know. I’m always hunting ‘a damn fine cup of coffee’.

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I love small places with comfy atmosphere combined with a nice menu and good coffee. At the moment, I must say that one of the nicest experiences from Copenhagen in terms of service, atmosphere, and the food was in the Next Door Cafe. I love coziness, service that is welcoming but not too formal, this is exactly a place where you want to go to have that informal, unique kind of experience. You’re treated like a friend and what I loved about the staff was that they didn’t have a certain uniform or look, everyone was who they are and it just added a little spice into the mix. The place is like a good old rock song, it always gets you going, gives the boost you need and afterward you feel a bit younger. I had pancakes, juice, and coffee for a late breakfast. In terms of coffee, it was good a bit too hot for my taste (there is a high chance that steamed milk which is too hot will give a burn taste and diminish actual taste of the bean…) but in this case, it was nice cup of coffee, not perfect but hey, if the playlist includes classics like Video kill the radio star or The Passenger you can’t help but put that 4 star stamp on it.

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I’ve visited in several cafes from The Coffee Collective in Copenhagen. My latest try was in Bernikow shop, it is a nice place with also a cocktail menu. If we get back to music, Nina Simone’s tunes were playing whole time I was visiting, therefore I can only give credit to having one of my favourite singers supplementing my morning coffee. The place itself is a mix of harbour themed paintings, with wood and green from the plants that are placed all over the shop. I’m trying to find the words to describe the place, it somehow reminded me of an old jazz restaurant, with a hint from botanical gardens and spiced up with a bit of modernity. One could call it sophisticated, but by no means it is stubborn. It is a place, where you have life, but not too much noise, you can sit and relax, drink your coffee and enjoy some jazz melodies at the same time. Coffee is one of the best in town and croissant was delicious.

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Comparing these two cafes is like trying to compare Iggy Pop to Edith Piaf, both of them are great but in such a different way, that it comes more to personal preferences rather than actual differences in quality. If you’re looking for a place to have nice food in a relaxed, informal atmosphere you would choose Next Door Cafe, but if you’re looking for an excellent cup of coffee, you would go and get it from The Coffee Collective. Both of them are superb but on their own terms.

Hey Jude!

I was finding my way in London underground at the end of 2017 when someone in distance started to whistle a song. The melody of it was way too familiar but I or anyone from my group wasn’t able to remember the name of the song. It bothered me but I had so much to do back in the London town, so I let it be for a while until 1st of January 2018 to be specific. London has a special place in my memory land, I was 10 when I visited the town for the first time and since then I have created memories in the city with several different people. It has delivered for me so much, from my first musical experiences (Cats) to two memorable New Years and more than once it has served as a platform for experiences which has been far from ordinary, in good and in bad.

London represents to me a place, where everything is possible, it was the first stop back in 2010 when I started my internship in Birmingham, it was in my dreams as the next step in 2014 after finishing my exchange semester in Nottingham, but I ended up in Shenzhen and now, when the year of 2018 is still an open book it was more than natural to celebrate end of 2017 with group of friends I haven’t seen since our trip to Bali. But back into the song, we decided to see the fireworks on New Year’s Eve in Primrose Hill, this was actually a nice change. Back in the end of 2013, we were close to London Eye, this time we were far away from the center but the atmosphere in Primrose Hill was real and hopeful towards the new year with a hint of togetherness. And all of a sudden when the clock was 00.00 there was a group who started to sing a song…

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don’t be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder… (The Beatles – Hey Jude)

…the song we had heard in the underground few days ago. It was a perfect way to start the new year and as an icing on a cake, all this comes to back into my childhood when I used to put my mothers Beatles albums into stereos and jam into the tunes. So, Hey Jude, don’t make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. 2018 I’m ready for you!

Pics are naturally from London.

Meaning of Nothingness

It is somehow hard to put my mind anywhere, it feels like I would be here, now, but what does it mean? Absence of meaning makes it hard to make decisions. Sense of nothingness, overall idea that we would really have some say in our lives, but I feel powerless facing the faceless. It lurks in every aspect of my being, nothing really doesn’t matter. Matter itself, this ideal that there is meaning for us in here. If there is, I’ve lost it and it seems that I can’t find it. What gives us meaning?

830394448I typed the question into my browser and pressed search, waiting for an answer ’42’ to appear in my screen. It is just a number, piece of data, meaningless without understanding how it is created. Is it same with our lives, are we too anxious to look at KPIs that we set for ourselves? ‘Meaning of it all, exceeding the expectations!’ We focus so much on the outcomes that we forget, what it is that actually creates those numbers. What is worth of a spreadsheet of numbers if you don’t know how you collected and created the data in the spreadsheet? Is it really our purpose to have this run-race for everything, measuring what we are in the face of society in this competition conducted by something invisible. And most of the time we are blind to even notice that we are once again on that race horse. Or were we ever off it?

1100035931Blind to notice, but what is it then we are suppose to notice? I’m struggling a lot with the idea of ‘knowing what I want’ and I wonder…’where to get the answer, silly thought to think the answer knows where to go‘, what kind of picture I’m creating, how is all of this supposed to tied up to a story? My story, it seems that I don’t own it, I’m just moving along with time, without understanding or noticing the underlying active network, which is shaping my life.

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Pics are from Copenhagen from past few months.

Sunrise

One of those little moments of despair, which turn out to be something brilliant, beautiful and stunning at the same time. You feel the wind against your face, your hair flying in the air like birds flying to the south at this time of the year. There is nothing that calms me down as ocean, the sound of it, how it hits the rocks. The size, how it is same time so overwhelming but present, its movements feel so throughout but same time unpredictable, just like life. And they say, it’s always darkest before the dawn, and when those colours of the dawn hit the sky, like a Monet’s painting, one feels so small. Every inch of my body wanted to just stay in that spot. In that spot, where you just breath in, breath out and wish that you would remember how it feels like to be present in a moment, after seconds when beauty of the sunrise has moved away and day takes its power back:

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Pictures are from Amager Strandpark, Copenhagen

Why so serious? It is 28 o’clock!

28 o’clock and as I’m getting back on track or more precise on that motorcycle that I’ve left in my garage a while a back. So, I’m going to change that scooter I’ve been driving steadily this year back to multitasking University and work combo. I’ve been relatively quiet about the fact that I’m starting studies soon again. I was accepted to Masters this spring and besides continuing rocking with AdWords I will start lectures again too. All these autumn colours and weather forecast anticipates also that birthday is knocking on my door. And I’m opening that door with a confusion and big smile on. Smile, well because what else (Caaaaaaaaake)? Confusion, well because that is what I am nowadays. Confusing but same time happy (most of the time). I went through pics from Bologna and I found this quote from Dali Experience:

‘What is important is to spread confusion not eliminate it.’

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This just kind of supported me to spread that confusion around me a bit more. Although I think Universe has also put its joker on a table or maybe I’m wrong with that and it might have been only 2 cents. Anyhow I’m looking forward end of this year with an excitement and curiosity. Additionally I’m trying to find a new tone for myself when it comes to writing. I think there is a bit of my spark missing from the texts and I’m looking for to find a way to bring it back into photos and/or writing. So, what to expect? Most likely me spreading same amount of confusion as before in my text with pictures of places I’ve been to (I’m in a process of getting new lens for my Nikon so that could shift a bit of my focus in photography).

Pictures are from Bologna, Paris and Copenhagen

Fear

Last weekend I was visiting Bologna, Italy and while enjoying the food (usually one would add weather too, but it was raining for four days 😀 like cats and dogs) and company of my beloved friend we ended up talking also a lot about fear.

1970833093There is a certain amount of not so nice words clouding around the word. It is also a powerful force over others, if you create and spread fear it will most likely grow. But how do we deal with it? What it is exactly we fear? Often it is said it is new or unfamiliar that gets into our guts. But is that true? Is it really the new we fear or old coming to an end? Nonetheless the situation, it is always hard to let go of old; good, neutral or bad. As life per usual there is no incident that would not mix all of these shades together. End result is always grey even though we would view world in that particular moment white or black. This is a plot twist we could easily forget when we are dealing with life. Although when one has seen that things can change but one can never be sure in that exact moment that things will ever be as they are; they could turn out to be anything. It is the instability of life that makes it same time so damn hard to cope with but at the same time such a blossoming experience, because everything could change in a heartbeat.

288169578More years I’ve gotten under my belt, more complex world has changed to me but at the same time life has transferred simpler for myself. I’m not sure is this due to this life long journey into oneself.  You try to find that balance inside and learn to showcase love above all towards yourself so that one day you will be able to fully demonstrate it towards everyone else. Same time you learn that there is no such thing as objectivity, all situations are related to subjectivity therefore it is hard to sometimes understand others behaviour because they are not in line with our reality, which of course is subject to our inner world and has nothing to do with objectivity (same time it gives an answer, not towards certain behaviour but answer that makes it easier to let go of not understanding).

960640284It is like this text, it is my subjective idea of whatever the topic is in here and one who reads this will interpret that against their reality. My inner reality looks most likely a lot different than yours, so are we on a same page? Or even reading same book? We would not know because our journeys looks so different, our experiences has an effect on us and as much as we work with ourselves, as much as we try to be objective we might never reach level of pure objectivity (I don’t want to say never, it is too final, end, omega, dot too ultimate). But it does not mean we should not try to be objective or that we should always be objective. We should be aware of the effects that might alter our reality, so in certain moments we won’t repeat our lives like auto pilots.

1129662413It is a huge burden placed on others if we expect them to prove our own prejudices wrong, especially if we look every single detail on that new person with a glasses someone else in our past made for us. It will tell more about that person in our past rather than the new person we are getting to know. But more importantly it might make us see others in a wrong light, not because they would be anything like that person in our past but because of something in that moment reminds us from our prior life. In those situations, are we supposed to trust our instinct? Is our instinct right? Or is our instinct actually moving us further away from something we actual need because of fear?

Pics are from Bologna, Italy

Seagull

I think it is safe to say spring 2017 is here according to the happenings of yesterday. It all started at 7pm when I met one of my colleagues in Nørreport before we walked to the Illum rooftop terrace (last part of that journey we used a lift). I was a tap early so as I stayed in sun for a while before the day turned into night I saw first public act of procedure you usually do in the toilets this year. Definitely sign that the weather is indeed getting warmer this was followed with a group of guys with bikes, beer and some imitations of a singing, or I think it was actual singing, but for sure if the birds started their singing lessons already few weeks back I think our race is following slow but steadily into the same tunes. I already dared the weather before I left the house and decided that it is time for leather jacket and heels and I survived so that adds on to this ‘Spring 2017 here now’ list.

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I think terrace is already giving some hints of the lovely breeze of summer that is around the corner. There I was, watching Christiansborg palace when it was bathing in last sparks of the sunset. At that moment I saw a seagull flying towards our table…and in those few seconds I had time to think before this creature would fly over, I  had a thought that this is not looking good at all… and in that moment I just hear ‘splash’ and there it was, in the middle of the menu I was reading; a white pod 😀 I’m not sure where this seagull wanted to aim, so giving score on how well this duty went would not make sense as I don’t know the background of this mission. In any case, we were having sort of a farewell party for few of my colleagues and this menu was from Italian restaurant (Rossopomodoro: recommendation if you want a view, nice food and drinks) and as lucky I was to have the package to land on the menu, apparently it is also sign for a good luck. This warmed my heart when our waitress told this while picking up the not so neat menu… Yesterday’s signs were pointing at spring quite heavily one could say.

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So, besides this awesomeness of spring being here and me being extra excited about it, I will also share few pics from Louisiana Museum of Modern Art which is a place you should definitely go if you’re visiting Copenhagen! I try to come up with a post of the museums in here after I’ve checked few more of them but Louisiana stole my heart and I’m now happily owning a one year card in there.

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