Once Again…

Once again I’m in trouble with my only friend
she is papering the window panes
she is putting on a smile
living in a glass house
– Radiohead: Living in a Glasshouse

It is that time of the year, when I somehow mystically find myself always listening to Radiohead (well, I do listen them also other times but I know for sure that when I start day with song like: How to disappear completely there is something else to it than extremely good music). I still haven’t figure it out, what it is with end of October, early November that makes me go into tiny tiny tiny pieces. But it always does, It starts with OK Computer and when I find myself listening Amnesiac on repeat (I just love that album, you want to learn thing or two about me; listen that album) I know that it has to be almost November.

Somehow that record, despite the fact that it is one of the most depressed albums I know (I (though) might be wrong), makes me see a light in November (this time in Finland is notoriously dark and wet, weather itself makes you feel that end is near). My Finnish melancholic side could be also reason why I always turn the other cheek to the feeling, and swim in it. There is clearly part of me, which receive some strength from that endless swimming, so I just jump into the river every year.  And every time it feels different, maybe I just forget so easy how it is, to swim in it.

Some might think that; I’m not even in Finland so why I’m feeling like this. Am I just feeding myself to the lions? I had exactly same thought last year when I was in Nottingham for the time being, but because I have just found myself in this situation again I might as well state that the lights are on but nobody’s home. This could lead to extreme adventure, which could include hunting bears, or I might find dollars & cents or in worst case scenario my little soul might be crushed. And that might mean that I’ve opened trapdoor, and coming back to reality might be forever prevented.

So, I keep swimming and my life might flash before my eyes, or I might find waterfall.

As a bonus: