Self-confidence for sale?

It is marketed to us from every single channel, how by using this, this and that we will be something we are not, but perfect that you can be. I really do like my make-ups and cosmetic stuff in general, but confidence for one self can’t be found in there. Sometimes these products can vanish those insecurities we have, but by time we take the mask off, those things are still in us. There is no cure that would come outside of us, that can make us feel more comfortable in our skin. It is coming from somewhere else, and I would argue that it has little or nothing to do with our looks.

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Something that has made me wonder the issue more has been the difference between China and Europe. When I go to drugstore in China, in every shelter I can find products that makes you whiter (I have tested couple of them in my hand, I would get an authentic Michael Jackson look with them). That is quite opposite for what we have in Europe, where we go to solarium to be darker, we buy products that makes us looked tanned. Why we have a need to see that there is something wrong with ourselves?  Hate ourselves for something we naturally are, and then try to fix or hide it with something? Would it be easier just embrace our natural characteristics rather than try to hide them? As a thought this sounds as simple as world peace, but in practice…

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I started to write this post already in July, but somehow I just could not go further. Felt like this topic just ends there (of course it does not). It is the whole world that has gone twisted, you can’t hide anywhere. I’ve had tried to fix something since I was 8 or 9, just because I was told that I’m ugly. Fix the ‘fact’ that I was not appealing to couple human beings, who thought it was fine to make this kind of statement. It is not surprising that there were humans acting this way, what I find alarming is the fact that person who is 8 year old somehow thought this argument was valid.

‘Baby, it’s never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name. It just shows you how poor that person is, it doesn’t hurt you. So, don’t let Mrs Dubose get you down. She had enough troubles of her own.’

To Kill a Mockingbird

For a really long time I thought I would not deserve anything I got, just because of my looks, it felt like a sin. Later on of course this turned other way around; I got this only because of my looks. There is this huge pressure, I don’t know where it is coming from and why we are not capable to do anything to it, but the pressure puts us into not so welcomed position. It is kind of place where you have to prove yourself all the time, first to yourself and then to others.

It is part of our time, to be this almighty person. One who is able to run a house, look good; go to gym, post a picture of a high protein food like cottage cheese, and act like eating it would make you the happiest person in the world, go to surgeries after pregnancy because ‘my partner might look at his assistant, it will be beneficial for the whole family’, do make-up every morning and make sure your clothes are on point.  Have a career (and make some extra hours too every now and then, of course the normal work week is already 50h), keep up with friendships and after that have the relationship (where you of course are perfect partner, providing everything your ‘other half needs’ and in case of children… well I’m not going even there). When did everything turn into achievement? When we turned the world into place where everything is about the ‘happiness’ 100% of time, and when was the moment somebody told us the biggest fattest lie of our time; Perfection is happiness.

Perfection is something we can try to achieve, happiness is not. Happiness is not about achievement, not about looks, not about perfection. I’m positive, because I’ve tried all 3 of them and happiness was nowhere to be seen. I can still add that I have no clue what and where happiness is, and at this moment I was going to write and ‘how to achieve it’. It is already built in us, we think that we have to achieve, deserve happiness. No, happiness is something that comes to us naturally if we want to, often we don’t. It would be the greatest thing in the world if we would be able to let happiness into our lives, and it would be as easy as to bake cookies, but it is not. The words are there, but to actually understand it, that is the tricky part.