I could not do anything else than let it all go or was it only a brief idea to let it all go but I just ended up putting on virtual reality gadgets just to forget all of this. Nothing really matters as soon as I get rid of the emptiness that I carry, please give me anything that makes me ignore the questions and answers I’m supposed to have answers for or I think I should have answers for. You make me flow and I don’t even know you but I wish I could understand how you make my whole body bloom. How you make me get in lost in a moment where my past doesn’t mean anything and there is no future, yet. Nothing matters. What is the trick? I keep moving forward and ask myself, why? Soon as the reality kicks in I’m paralysed. One, none and thousand thoughts running in my mind and I try to catch the so-called voice within.
I fight against all of it and I tied the knot with my backpack a long time ago. It gives one that newlywed glow. Flying over the moon and back with the destined soulmate they write all the songs for. It seems that you’ve calculated the perfect trajectory to fly over life. Fly like an eagle, swim like a shark, do everything so effortlessly like it would be natural to you. You start to believe the illusion you’ve created for yourself until you’re caught without a guard. Who are you then? Do we just change the virtual reality glasses to another pair, tell everyone that we are now enlightened? That things we didn’t understand before are now clear. We develop, grow, move forward… or do we just stay in the same place and change those glasses to trick ourselves to think we are ‘developing’?You’re pushed to change, you hear ‘only change is permanent’, it is like knowing oneself has become something you can consume. Meaning, that ‘being oneself’ is reduced to a concept that will give clear ROI numbers. However, at the same time, it reduces the way one is seen and packs all of it into tightly predetermined categories. I want to get rid off those chains I’ve created for myself and those once that lurked into my life by the idea of whom I’m supposed to be in this world. But I don’t want to rebel, I want to understand myself, not through commercialised images of ‘self-development’, out of context ‘empowering’ memes or books that will let you know that you’re or not special snowflake but by dropping myself into the ocean and seek deep. I seek an answer for; who am I? Not who I am through someone else’s virtual reality glasses.
Pictures are from Sant’elia and Scilla, Calabria, Italy.