Friendship

Pics are from 1)Bali, Indonesia 2) Paris, France 3) Florence, Italy

Whoah, it hit me like Drake sweeping floors today (or more precisely it was my friend who in the middle of conversation reminded me about gratefulness) that how grateful I am for everything. How can you describe that feeling, when you’re in middle of China far away from home? There are you having a dinner and talking about anything from karma to orbital and love with these awesome Finnish women. Life gives you people and you think, how on earth in any other place I would have meet them? I travelled all the way to China to meet these fellow citizens whom I feel weird connection with even when I haven’t known them for a long time. That undescribed feeling in a taxi when you play JVG and rap at the same time to it, windows wide open (JVG is a rap duo from Finland and couple years back I would have never said that I would have done this, now I’m proud to admit it!) with your fellow colleagues! Probably it was not as pleasant to the driver as it was for the others in the same cab.

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I got into this book a while back, which I often do when I just give myself a moment to start something. But it got me thinking about friendships and how we view world and love. Being present is hard even in normal communication (when you take a moment, and look somewhere else than your phone you see everyone else looking at their phone) but when you hit it with different time zones and basically only texting, it got me thinking. How to be present, if the traditional communication is not an option? What kind of an effort it takes from both sides? And how could I handle it better, how could I make the other one feel that I do care and value them? Is there a way to be present, even when you’re not physically there? It is not optimal situation and some things are so easy to say, like ‘let’s keep in touch’ but it in reality it does not work that way.

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There has to be that commitment from both side and when something happens, we as humans react to those situations different ways. They could make us go all the way to the edge of out sanity, or make us go back to our shelfs. Do we in those situations forget or give up on that thought of trust? Do we stop trusting when we feel that we got hurt? And is that the moment, when things start to look not so good? Do we then start to compare the friendship? Do we then start to expect things from it? In a way we change that commitment to a competition. We expect that other person to fulfil some of our needs, maybe because we feel that we’re hurt. We look for prove to get that trust back. But is it selfish as the need is something inside of us, not something that has anything to do with the friendships itself? Because in the end is the commitment of the friendship that ties trust, forgiveness and love together. But where lies the line for forgiveness in a friendship, and how to make the correct judgement if trust can’t be part of it anymore? Understanding the other is not always easy, especially if you’re in different situation in life. But is it enough to try to understand it?

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There is just way too many questions in my head considering the essence of friendships. I started the writing with the feeling of gratefulness which led me to think, how to be a better friend.  What I do know, is the feeling I have when I’m in a cab sharing some memories or when I meet people I’ve not meet for a really long time. That moment when you can just sit there and get all the details of happenings while you’ve been away. What buggers me still is the question of commitment and  being present. How to be present virtually? And is that even possible?

 

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